lost in the closet

the story starts with a game of speed quarters. 8 people. 6 quarters. 3 glasses. an endless supply of beer. 

the story ends with "what the fuck?!"

and here's everything in between:

speed quarters was everything i expected it to be. except that my girlfriend couldn't keep herself from making me drink. it's not that i suck at quarters. i just suck at speed quarters. bounce. clink. "shit." drink. pour. bounce. clink. "shit." drink. pour. and that's how it went for an hour or so. 

fast forward to bedtime. a quick change from party clothes to sleep clothes. a quick tooth rub with the bristly thing and then a quick stumble into bed and an even quicker fall asleep. the bed is right next to the bathroom. right. next. to. it. i needed only to roll out of bed and take 2 steps away from the bed and i'm in the bathroom. but when i woke up in the middle of the night to pee, apparently i couldn't grasp that concept. 

i awake in the dead of night to an urgent need to rid myself of the many shots of beer i drank during what seemed to be 4 days of speed quarters. i get out of bed. i feel around for the open door to the bathroom. i find a doorway. i walk through it. i close the door. i search for the light switch. i don't feel one on the wall. fuck it. i don't need light to pee. just find me the toilet. i'm feeling the wall. and feeling the wall and feeling the wall. more wall. i find the door again. no toilet. i begin to panic. i feel for the bathroom counter so i can follow it back to the toilet. no counter. just wall. i panic more, and now i REALLY have to pee. i'm banging around into the wall, trying to find the toilet, or any feature of the bathroom i might recognize.

on the other side of the door, erin is awakened by my banging around. and then she hears the culmination of my frustration: "what the FUCK?!"

i hear her say something, maybe she asks what i'm doing. "i'm trying to find the bathroom!" i make it outside the door and find a wall switch. i flip it up. it's the switch to the closet. the one i'd been searching for the toilet in for the last 20 minutes. 

good times.