Animal Farm

Moving is fun. Just not for the animals. Sly and Killer both yowled like they were being twirled by the ceiling fan during the less-than-1-mile-car-ride from the old apartment to the new house. Good times. 

Jackson, on the other hand, was fine during the ride. Apparently cats and dogs really are different. 

Here's what Jackson is good at in the new house so far:

opening the mail

laying in the sun

laying near the sun

laying in the sun

staring stoically out the window at passers-by

growling at his reflection in the kitchen tiles

laying in the sun

waiting for Erin to come home

sleeping like a human

guarding the front porch

laying in the sun

passing out after eating

and of course...laying in the sun.

As for the other animals...

Killer is upset I've awoken her with the flash

And Sly...well, he can always find a new friend to lay on.

That's What She Said

I've now seen That's What She Said twice, and it's been different both times. I wish I'd seen it a hundred times. That's where you come in. If you're a lesbian, go see the show (your membership will be cancelled if you don't). Or if you're a friend of a lesbian (that should cover the rest of the population, even if you don't know about it), go see the show. And if you think you don't fall into either of those categories, well then go see the show...clearly you need some culture.

Here's a note from the creators:

That's What She Said is back at the fabulous M Bar on Friday, March 20th. We have brand new songs to debut, re-vamped favorites and a few surprises never before seen on a stage in Hollywood. The best part? You get to sit back, eat a meal, have a cocktail and watch your favorite lesbian jesters work themselves into a magical frenzy!

Reserve your table now for a great night of music & comedy.

That's What She Said
M Bar Hollywood
Friday, March 20th at 8pm
Doors open at 7pm

$15 tickets at the door. Cash only.
$10 food minimum
Call 323.856.0036 for reservations

M Bar is located at 1253 Vine Street (at Fountain), Los Angeles 90038
www.mbarhollywood.com

See you at the show!
Amy & Kathryn
--
That's What She Said
On MySpace
On YouTube
On Facebook

You have plenty of time to save $25 ($15 for tickets & $10 for food), even in this crap-ass economy. So just do it. And then get 20 other people to do it, too. 

If you'd like to see if it's worth going to, let me answer that with this: 

You'll get to see that live. Now go reserve your seats!

I'll see you there.

The Not Going To College But I Have A Team Anyway Thing

It's not that I couldn't get into college, it's that I didn't try. So when I watch college sports, I can do nothing but root for teams that others have convinced me to root for. First it was UCLA because Grandma hates USC. Beyond that, I've tended to gravitate towards my wherever my significant other of the time went to school.

During the Tricia years, it was BYU. But honestly, BYU wasn't good at...anything other than being Mormon, really, so it was usually a Chicago Cubs let down of almost-but-not-quite wins, no matter which sport we watched. I was actually pretty happy to not have to root for them by default once that split was final. In fact, that may have even been part of the cause. I digress.

Next, I became a Duck. Ducks are cute, they're feisty, and well, it was always fun hearing Susan talk about it never raining at Autzen Stadium. And even now, I root for the Ducks whenever I get the chance. They're fun to watch, and they're even better than good some years, which makes it even better. I even still wear the green & yellow hoodie (that I possibly stole) when I know the Ducks are playing. 

And then there was Florida State. The Seminoles. Meh. I could never really get on board with FSU. Partially because of the garnet & gold (too much of a resemblance to Grandma's hated Trojans) and mostly because they used a tomahawk chop in their cheers...too much of a resemblance to the Atlanta Braves, which stirs up my own personal hatred. Luckily, FSU wasn't good at anything but golf, so I rarely had to feign support for the team.

Which brings us to "my" current team. After my break-up with the Duck lady, I immersed myself in the Women's College World Series to drown my sorrows, and fell in love with a team from Illinois (ok fine, I fell in love with the coaches). Northwestern made it to the Championship Series with UA, and although the final scores made the 2 games look like blowouts, those were 2 of the best games I've seen in my life. A couple years later, I find myself relationshiply (I'm a writer, I'm allowed to make up words) obligated to root for this fine school. So far, so good.

From here on out I'm a Wildcat. And still kind of a Duck. And also a Bruin. But never at the same time, of course. As we discussed today's Wildcat/Duck softball game this past week, I made a light joke of wondering who I was going to root for and was nearly struck down by lightning bolts spearing from my Wildcat's eyes. Jeez, woman, take a joke!

Of course, this year I'm going back to school and will at some point get my own degree from my own college. So when I have a mascot to truly call my own, I hope I can really get on board with it. We'll see what happens. And then all you bitches better watch out, because it's entirely possible that I'll change my major and move cross country just to go to school somewhere that has a winning record over all the aforementioned schools. It's a good thing I'm not competitive. 

The Dog Park

If you have a dog, you know of this place: The Dog Park. Prior to having Jackson, I'd heard of a dog park but was always wary of such things. Who needs a bunch of dogs riling each other up in a little section of park and poop? I mean really.  Well apparently, Jackson does. 

The first time I took Jackson, he was shy and timid, ever the mama's boy. He walked slowly by my side, tail between his legs, scared of anything walking on all fours. He preferred the upright walkers with hands that would pet him, versus jowls that would sniff his butt. And then he learned something. 

I wish I could get this on camera, but my blackberry is nearly on its last leg and can't seem to stay on for an entire text message, let alone shooting a 30-second video. What this video would show you is the aforementioned cute little scared puppy taking all of 4 seconds to turn into Prancing Valentino. His tail went up, his back went straight, his legs went all hoppy and dancy. And then I saw why.

A cute little beagle, about twice the size of Jackson caught his eye. And apparently his humper. I don't know if 4 months in dog years is like 18 in human boy years, but Jackson decided not only to hump that poor beagle, but just about every other dog in sight. And my boy Jackson, he's a hard worker. He went at it from the back, the side, the front...some of you may want to incorporate this style in your own...ahem...well if you don't know what to incorporate it into, then just never mind. 

It used to be that we couldn't get Jackson to jump down from anywhere. But now that he knows the scent of the Doggy Does Dallas Park, he can't wait for us to open the door so he can vamp his way out into the crowd. And let me tell you, he's a free spirit. He has no shame, no rules. Boys, bitches, young, old, whatevs. They're all game in the DDDP. 

Prior to the dog park, here's Jackson's New Year's Triumph: 

   

Ah, yes. Boys will be boys. Notice how there are human feet in the pics...you know...just standing there...watching. And apparently taking pictures. 

Silly Willy Jackson

Jackson does not like the rain.

Jackson is not in pain.

He is not in pain when in the rain

But Jackson will not remain.

Jackson is very silly.

Jackson has a sore willy.

He has a sore willy

Because he was silly

And now will try to hump Billy.

Jackson crosses his legs when he lays.

Jackson lays on his legs for days. 

He rests his head low

Is scared of his own shadow

And will not eat my Baked Lays.

_____________________

I don't even know what to call that...but it made Jackson perk up when I read it out loud to him =)

House Buying For Dummies

When I sold my grandparents' house in 2006, I must've had a genius agent because she did nothing like what these people did. Or maybe my agent was doing it all wrong and homes are supposed to be on the market for 90+ days.... (oh, I know, the market is bad, blah, blah, blah)

Have the camera auto focus on the good parts of your curb appeal

Be sure to have someone point out what's for sale

Clearly state what is NOT for sale

Clear the counters of rotten fruit

Show amenities, like trash service

Show that you've done due diligence in cleaning up

And of course...

Have flowers & Jesus bless each room

Snoring Pup

Now I know I promised I wouldn't post everything Jackson does, but I thought I'd at least share his snoring. The vid is from my camera phone, so unfortunately, the quality leaves much to be desired. But the snoring...my must everyone I love snore?!!